*Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.

Lincoln Rainn was born on April 13th, 2009. At 5:13pm. After he was born we moved to our nursing room in the hospital, room 2813. A very fitting replication of the two digit number that usually causes a raised eyebrow among the massess.

I recorded the first sound he every made on a digital recorder.



Think of that. To me, that is just crazy. I have the absolute first vocal sound that my son made recorded. To the uninitiated (meaning no children) that most likely means less than nothing. Of course, that would mean less than nothing to anyone who isn't sentimental in the least.

I am extremely sentimental. I keep things that I respond to emotionally, usually linked to a memory. In this recording I have a perfect sound, a real sound, that reminds me of the exact moment that Lincoln let me know he was alive and well.........with a scream.

It has only been six weeks and already Lincoln has grown. Gaining weight, gaining awareness and gaining everyone's attention. His big blue eyes are constantly wondering when he is awake, looking for the next bright object to stare at. At times, he will make eye contact, and then the biggest smile forms on his little face. It gives you a feeling in your chest that nothing else in the world will ever be able to duplicate. I promise you that.

**Don't worry that your children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.

Your children just know when you are around, and the feeling when you hold them envelopes both of you in a reciprocal of relaxation and calm. They know your smell, and they know your voice. They know what they like about you versus what they like about the other parent. They like to be held differently, patted differently and rocked differently.

Suprisingly, they know all of this when they don't even know how to control their arms and legs yet. It's a feeling. A bond.

Our other two kids have adjusted very well to having him around. They love holding him. They love singing to him, especially when he cries. Although.....it could be the singing that is causing the crying, but does it really matter?

Now it is just a matter of getting all three of them to adult hood and survive. Lincoln's eventual first birthday will be our last hurah in the land of babies. From there we plan to send them to good schools to learn valuble and hard lessons. We plan to stick by all three of them as they go through their respective ups and downs; as a family and as individuals. I want to be close to all three of them. Not in the way that I pretend that it is possible to be forever young and their absolute best friend. I'll leave that to the pundits of eternal youth. Instead, I plan to be in the position where my kids trust me. Trust me as a parent, trust me as a friend, and trust me to be honest with my opinion. I think that is fair. Moreso I feel it is achieved easier than people think.

Family commitements don't always seem to mean the same thing to everyone anymore; And if your not careful, that seems to get passed right down to the kids. I feel that there is more responsiblility owed than that.

I plan to live long enough to see the results of all our efforts.

*Joey Adams
**Robert Fulghum

The Window Between Worlds

Sometimes the only sane answer to an insane world is insanity.

No doubt about it. JJ Abrams is a genius. The guy is more well known then some actors among the general populace, and that is saying a lot for a Producer/Director in the television world.


On May 12 the first season finale of Fringe, JJ Abrams latest brain child, concluded with the kind of quality storytelling and solid cliffhangers that many have come to expect from the wildly ambiguous storyteller. Not to say that Abrams deserves all of the credit. Like any good creative Producer he surrounds himself with the kind of talent that fledgeling bloggers like myself would kill to be around. The kind of talent that brings Lost to a new level of success as it slowly (and sadly) comes to a close.

For those who are not in the know, Fringe follows an FBI agent, a mad scientist, and his well-connected son, as they investigate crimes related to "The Pattern," or a series of events that border on fringe science and x-files type paranormal happenings. The premise is simple to the point of formulaic, yet effective. FBI Agent Olivia Dunham is played rather straight by Anna Torv, and her character has remained strong throughout the season. It seems like almost every episode Agent Dunham is pulling her gun and taking shots at someone, or something; And Anna pulls it off perfectly. Joshua Jackson definitely came on to the show with "Pacey" hanging over his head, whether that was good or bad depends on your point of view. I have to admit that I really dug his character from the pilot episode, and thought our resident Canadian represented well.

Credit for the popularity of the show I believe has to go in part to John Noble, who plays the mad Dr. Walter Bishop. I picture writing sessions being put on hold so that they can get John on the phone to ask him what he thinks Bishop would say or do. John completely embodies the character and by the second episode he was clearly playing the necessary role that kept the audience well informed through all the pseudo-science in the story; But he also brought a level of comic relief that most sitcoms would love to bring to their respective tables.

The show manages to take a rather formulaic concept and add a mythology that pushes the viewer deeper than they thought was possible. Just as Lost has clearly done.

The difference here is that Fringe is set up to be a little more free for it's audience. Meaning that if you miss an episode you aren't necessarily.....well.....lost (can't help that one. Every time I bring up Lost as a topic of conversation someone has to pull that joke when they indicate they couldn't keep up with the show. Every time. Without fail.)

I would never lie. I willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation.

Back to the finale. The whole season has been setting up the character of William Bell, who is the founder and Mr. X behind the corporate giant Massive Dynamic. My early thoughts, which I don't consider to be sci-fi naiveté, sat firmly on the idea that Massive Dynamic would ultimately be the enemy revealed. Right from the pilot episode the corporate monger's public face Nina Sharp was playing what seemed like both sides. From trying to enlist Agent Dunham in one scene, to partaking in shadowy and secret projects the next. (Shadowy?)

Who knew that in the final moments the mastermind that was discussed throughout the season would show his face and be........Spock?!? Both my wife and I looked at each other during the opening credits of the final episode and thought "Leonard Nimoy?" The final moments of the episode raised more questions than could be answered, which is definitely an Abrams trademark, so now the scene is set for what is sure to be a great second season. It's nice to see a show take off right as Lost is coming to its close, as Lost is going to be sorely missed.

So I'll quickly run down a list of observations that stick out in my mind now that the finale is over and the show is set to move on with it's mythology. Down the rabbit hole.

There is more than one of everything

You can't help but look at the obvious when it comes to episode titles. Throughout this final season David Robert Jones is trying to open a "window" into an alternate reality in order to cross over. His intentions are foggy at best, though it is clearly stated by Nina Sharp that he is after William Bell, who has managed to cross over into the alternate reality and remain there for some time. The question is, has William Bell managed to bridge the two realities so he can cross whenever he wants? Agent Dunham's elevator ride at the end of the episode seems to imply so.

The Observer hands Walter Bishop a coin and uses the line "There is more than one of everything," right before asking the mad scientist to enter his old beach house and search for something that he hid there many years ago. The coin is exactly like a coin Walter used to have, but it is not the coin. This something that Dr. Bishop is searching for ends up being some kind of device, just like Jones', in which he can open a window into an alternate reality. The difference being that Walter also built a plug, in order to close said window in case something from the other side has intentions of coming through.

During this whole scene Walter tells Peter that he once lost something he was very fond of, so he built the device to cross over to another reality in order to get the duplicate of the thing he had lost. Soon after we see Dr. Bishop back at a graveyard where he tears up, and places a coin, Peter's coin as it was revealed, on a gravestone. The camera pans down and we see what Dr. Walter Bishop lost some time ago. The stone reads "Peter Bishop 1978 - 1985." So is Peter Bishop really from the alternate reality? If so, this would partly explain why Peter was able to get better on his own when it was revealed in "Safe" (10th episode) that he had a rare disease similar to Hepia, which apparently is a form of bird flu. It also helps to explain why Peter has been having so much trouble remembering anything about his childhood. I love that the writer's have a larger picture in mind as they write these characters. Seriously, the writer's of Heroes need to start paying attention to what obviously works, and what really doesn't work.

Back to our friend Spock, in the final moments of the episode Agent Dunham has two questions for her host. "Where am I?," and "Who are you?," both of which lead to a stunning reveal that the newspaper shown as she enters his office only hints at. William tells her that the answer to her first question is complicated, and as he tells her his name Olivia steps to the office window and looks out at the New York Skyline. Her face visibly looks perplexed as the camera pulls back to show her viewpoint is from inside the still standing World Trade Center.

I have many questions and pretty much no theories considering the nature of William Bell. Is he the enemy that Abrams talked about here? Dr. Bishop and Nina Sharp have both defended Bell, claiming that he is not the enemy. Why is he living in the alternate reality? It can not be to simply hide from Jones. Did Bell write the ZFT manuscript?, or was it Bishop and he just can't remember?

No matter what the questions are though, we know that the answers will not necessarily be the most obvious, or the most convoluted. Nor will they be coming anytime soon, as we have many more seasons of this show to go I'm sure. Abrams has not mis-fired yet, why would he start now?

*quotes in bold from X-Files

I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here...*

Whenever I want to have fun with my mom by getting under her skin I call her "Mommie Dearest." It always brings about that familiar smile followed by the narrowing of the eyes that is a common reaction to my sarcasm. I can't help it.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. **

I believe the enjoyment comes from the subtle underlying bit of something in my tone, that implies in a round-a-bout way what I sometimes find far too mushy to ever say directly. That, something, is always more understood than directly stated. Of course, that comes with a backlash. Like most children out there, my mom has plenty of dirt to shovel out when the opportune time presents itself; And those opportune times seem to pop up far more often than I ever intend to be prepared for.


I guess that is the type of stuff that mothers should be afforded, after everything they have to go through. Like building a whole display for a baby shower overnight (seriously, who does that ?). Though, in reality, it's birthing a child, raising him, feeding him, looking out for him, picking him up when he falls down and keeping him in check when he tries to step out of line. Teaching him, guiding him, letting him make big mistakes without telling him how wrong they were. Holding him when he cries and tickling him so he laughs. Taking his temperature when he is sick and letting him know when she knows he is faking. Watching out for him and just being there for him. All from the loving perspective only a mother can have. Even when that someone is calling them "Mommie Dearest."

Mother - that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries.***

Then mother gets to become a grandmother. Or at least, that is the plan I think. I believe all mothers look forward and hope for that moment, once their children are past that age of irresponsibility (I'm not yet but I think she just pushed that to the back of her mind).

That is the type of news that is so exciting to give. You spend some time thinking to yourself just how your going to tell her. "Your going to be a Grandmother," or "I'm going to be a dad," or a multitude of others that pass through your mind. I even thought of what the look on her face was going to be. Of course, I couldn't wait to long to actually tell her so I ended up doing it over the phone. I swear I heard her chin hit the floor. Not in a bad way though.

I guess it's not always normal to tease and tease about being pregnant right before you give the news that you actually are.

So, now it's Mother's Day 2009, and there are so many mother's in my immediate circle who need some kind of recognition; And I do give it to them. Most of all though, I hope my mom knows just how much I love and appreciate her. She is the most giving mother I know and she did a really good job on all of us kids.

The most important thing I can hope for, is that I manage to accomplish the same things with my own kids. I want them to think of me in the same way I think of her.

Happy Mother's Day Grammie Bunnie....

*- Stephen Bishop
** ~Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895
*** ~T. DeWitt Talmage